


Let The Straight Boys Be

by becgnet



Category: Amazingphil - Fandom, Danisnotonfire - Fandom, Phandom
Genre: Angst, Forgive Me, M/M, Oneshot, Phan - Freeform, WOW IM TRASH, based off an ally hills song, im phan trash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-07
Updated: 2015-12-07
Packaged: 2018-05-05 10:53:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5372678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/becgnet/pseuds/becgnet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"At one point, on a particularly odd night, the two became one for a night, a night where nothing but passion was shared. However, in the end, all was futile. Phil had expressed his disinterest in a relationship, and Dan had given up on his chances of ever being with Phil." Basically an angst fic based off "In Love With a Straight Girl" by Ally Hills. Please forgive me and my poor writing skills.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let The Straight Boys Be

 

_So you’re in love with a straight boy. I see the problem all the time..._

__

Dan had truly messed up. He had fallen in love with his idol, Phil Lester. Of course, he had fallen, hard, way back in 2009, soon after their first Skype call. And here he was, in 2015, with a heartache that couldn’t be healed. It wasn’t a heartache that anyone was responsible for either, because Dan was bisexual, but Phil was straight, and Dan had fallen in love with him anyway. Phil certainly hadn’t helped the matter, either.  

_People keep asking me, “What can I do to change his mind?” Absolutely nothing, cause it’s probably a waste of time…_

Dan tried, when he first met Phil, to change his mind, to see if maybe there was a chance for them working out. His attempts seemed hopeful in the beginning. They were flirtatious with each other all the time, they shared a bed often, and did everything together.  At one point, on a particularly odd night, the two became one for a night, a night where nothing but passion was shared. However, in the end, all was futile. Phil had expressed his disinterest in a relationship, and Dan had given up on his chances of ever being with Phil.

_Time after time, I see it again. You’ve got a crush, you’re in love with your straight best friend. So, what can I do to change your ways? Because a straight boy will come ;), but a straight boy will never stay…_

Honestly, what kept Dan messed up the most was that one night of passion. Dan and Phil had been doing whatever they normally do, and somehow, after 3 episodes of whatever Netflix series Phil had had them watching (Dan had been too focused on Phil to watch the show), they ended up shedding their clothes, tangling under the sheets, and sharing each other’s tastes and moans. The next day, they filmed a video, Phil Is Not On Fire. During it, Dan was especially happy, not only because one of the many hickeys he had given Phil the night before were obvious, but because of how lovey and flirty Phil was, even more so than usual. However, no mention of the previous night came up ever, and Phil pretended it never happened. Dan should have known to stop there, but he was too blinded by his love to see the signs telling him to stop.

_Why, oh why, do you think it’s okay to pursue when you knew he wasn’t gay? Why, oh why, are you comin’ to me when there’s five words to learn: let the straight boys be._

Now, at the end of 2015, Dan was regretting not seeing those signs. He had pursued Phil, got his heart broken, and never left that heart ache stage, despite the many years. No matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t move on from Phil.

_Let’s rewind to the time when you first came out, when a girl would imply that she had a doubt, it’s all a cycle and you’re part of it too, every group is guilty and now the blame is placed on you…_

Dan had came out to Phil as queer in 2012. Of course, he was sure Phil already knew, based on the previous experience in 2009, but he had never properly came out until then. After he did, Phil seemed...distant, in a sense.  Dan assumed he had messed up, that Phil had figured out that Dan wanted him still, and grew farther from him too. It was one of the worst parts of his life. They finally reconnected in 2013, and things went back to normal, but Dan messed up again: he tried to pursue Phil **again** , despite his previous failure. Dan’s logic at the time was flawed, but he figured if Phil was coming to back to him, there was a chance that Phil liked him too, right?

__

_You should move on, it’s not happening here, if he tells you that he’s straight, that doesn’t mean that he’s queer. What can I do, to get it through your brain? Just don’t fall in love with the only one you can’t obtain…_

__

Dan tried in 2013, he really did.  He took Phil out for dinner a few times, and even kissed him on the cheek during a movie once. After the kiss though, things were awkward for a little while. Dan managed to pass it off as being slightly intoxicated, but inside, Dan wanted to crawl and hide. He didn’t ever want a repeat of 2012. He knew that Phil was the one person he would never be able to have, and he hated it more than anything.

_Why, oh why, do you think it’s okay to pursue when you knew he wasn’t gay? Find the right guy for you, when you’re done, the right one will love guys too._

 

Dan couldn't see himself leaving Phil any time soon. He loved him, he right and truly loved him, despite every fiber of his being telling him to give up. At night, Dan dreamed of Phil, and would occasionally wake up to be cuddling a pillow whom he wished was his best friend. It would never happen though, so Dan did all he could do: show Phil his love in term of friendships by day, and escape to the perfect world inside his head at night.  
  
Dan really should have heeded those warnings he saw earlier, but instead, he fell hard. Hard enough to not be able to get back up; just hard enough to feel the pain.

**Author's Note:**

> IM SORRY IM TRASH AND ALSO CANT WRITE FORGUVE ME


End file.
